Bon viago

Our trip began the day before with a surprise flight change that would have had Eliza and I loitering in Abu Dabi airport for 19hrs. Airline Solution = re route via Paris and add another 13hrs and one flight to the 22hrs already needed to get to Italy.

Lumped with this, I packed 20 nappies – being a disposable novice, 3 changes of clothes for Eliza, one avocado, licorice and a good chunk of rice cereal. Really what else would I need?

At the airport, the departure was then delayed by 3 hrs meaning the new (stupid) schedule didn’t line up any more. Fortunately for us as we then pulled the nervous mother and bubba traveling alone card and suddenly found ourselves on a different airline with a bassinet the whole way and direct to Italy. Phew. I was dreading arriving in Paris as I have an overdue fine from 2003 – value €90.

Here are some tips on how to pull the baby card -
Dress bubba in gender appropriate colored outfit for easy identification – people like to get it right;
Have a large overflowing bag falling from one shoulder;
Forgo lunch so that your hands tremble when handing over your passports;
Have pre fed the small creature to make them highly sociable;
Stare at the sign behind the check in counter – this helps avoid eye contact and will make you appear teary;
And finally, take partner with you to check in to kick some serious butt.

Footnote: pack sticky tape as it allows you to tape newspaper over the bright destination screen which sits above the bassinet.

Penned ox

Bangkok to Dubai brought with it an unexpected event. The inflight entertainment was really bad, but better than watching a 6″5 Italian brute getting taken down on the ground by 4 air hosts. Benefits of the bassinet seat meant a front row view which went from the dude mouthing off to being tied ip with cable ties to the chair opposite us.

Can’t say it was pleasant, but nothing compared to the 4 hrs of verbal abuse that came out of his mouth. Everyone on the flight had to hear it. If I had been in more a jovial mood I would have sampled it and then made some kind of rap mix but the sad thing is that it was real and not just some b grade script.

At somepoint he glared in our direction and looked like a cornered ox before slaughter.

Secretly I was hoping Eliza would do a mega stinky poo so I could stuff the nappy in his mouth.

About to depart

Why is it that the week before a trip you either find out your pregnant or decide you want to buy a house and need to get a new shower screen?
So, that all didn’t happen last trip, but I think this time it feels crazier as most of the day is spent keeping the Button fed, clean, slept and playful. When lunch alone takes an hour and you feel like you’re constantly got ones hands in the sink it can be tricky to get anything done.
Did I mention a sneaking suspicion that her first tooth is close?
Italy may be on the other side but it’s not lime they wont have a place to buy nappies. After much consideration ive decided to leave the cloth ones at home and be a disposable mum – I’m sure there is a low land fill option over there.
Best be packing!

Salty Button

We went on our first camping trip on the weekend. It was super… well it was also safe. We had the brilliant safety net of J’s folks who live in the bay, but fortunately we didnt need it. The van is truely amazing. The best other addition to the family of late.

We also had a swim in the ocean, which didnt go down super well with her. I think shes a bit skinny yet to deal with the temps, but instead really enjoyed showing off her pink bits on the sand. In all a good first mini adventure. Only disappointment was all the milk I managed to collect and then didn’t need on the drive. Other highlights included a run through the bush, non olive olive bread, the rediscovery of the versatility of a hot cross bun and $3 yoghurt (family size of course).

Autumn Button

So many things have changed since last visiting. We are now a family, no dog, but a new baby girl and a grand van for adventures. Its been an inside out 6 weeks and only just feel like the baby fog is lifting. There are no certainties with a newborn, and Ive found that time really doesnt matter at all, let alone the day of the week. It is unrelentless, but so to is the love that we are feeling for her.

I have lost so many hours just staring at her and cooing in a kinda odd way. I fret when she cries and hate to see her distressed. Thats only happened once when I ate chilli squash soup and her poor belly blew up like a balloon. Needless to say, 3 power poo explosions and 4hrs later all was back to normal.

We spend our days walking the streets of the inner North, scoping the library and checking for bargains at any one of the 3 IGA supermarkets in this area. If one has the time, there are treats to be found everywhere – even just the discovery of new parks and getting her nude in public areas. Cloth nappies are going well, and work even better when you read the directions on how to fold them.

In 6 weeks, she has been to a wedding, a funeral, Sydney, done a days work, made Anzacs and a cake, put on a kg and attended paint n play. In all, an awesome start to an adventurous life.

Observations from level 3

Staying in nice hotels is a bit of a treat, and like flying as a kid, something that I really get a kick out of. Pity flying isnt the same these days. Anyways – the hotel im in today has some charming attributes, and some aweful decor. On the hit list is the pool. Its one of those infinity edge pools and it makes you feel like you are swimming towards the sky scrapers. Its squeeky clean and long. Somehow it made me swim faster, maybe because I was thinking I was a car, or some suited creature bustling off to work. It would be quite nice to have this every day, but be able to transport it to a country view or ocean edge.

The long temporary

Its the 1st of summer – and it was 9 degress this morning. So much for global warming. I dont mind, Im pretty warm these days. Everything feels like its slipping into a happy time, or maybe that I can see an excuse to slow down a little more as the end of the year approaches. The fact that I have time even to write this is testament to that.

The secret garden project behind the laundry shed is progressing. Im battling with the invisible possum, but have to say that Ive picked 4 snow peas and a mini strawberry. I am waiting to find some chicken wire on the side of the road to make a complete enclosure. We moved the worm farm there too, Gail had been worm sitting for about 4 years and we thought it was time to risk body corporate wrath. Speaking of which, in my impending motherliness, I think ide like to go to the next meeting. Im not the only one assuming social responsibility. Evan speaks of lobbying for more community BBQs and ping pong tables.

Lately Ive been getting bigger – thats to be expected, but this pregnancy gig is more than a probation period for heavyness. Its 28weeks+5day now, and if I was working in the public service would have accrued some annual leave. Everything is looking good. Danny D is stagnating, and Blyto has assumed full controll of my uterus. Ugh. Im using that ‘u’ word. Guess its better than the ‘f’ word (no kids… fundus). Im still wearing my own jeans, but have to sit down to put on my shoes and am thinking a shoe horn could be a good investment.

Untold stories

With all the pregnancy dramas over the last week, an interesting pattern has emerged. Of all the women with whom I have told my story too, every mother has had a story about pregnancy and non of them good. As a first time mum did I really believe that it was all smooth sailing during this pregnancy lark?

Comfort has come from hearing these stories and seeing that a problem of mine can also be an opportunity for others to grieve and share something that is rarely discussed. 30+ years ago, women were told to simply “Go home and try again” following a miscarriage. And, everyone did. For me, solace is that all these women are brilliant mothers with 1-4 kids each between them.

It is strange how somethings lie within the grey area of life making them so difficult to talk about.

Blyto however continues to kick Danny deVito’s arse and is 20 weeks today. Happy halfway spudlink!

Room for another?

I had promised myself that I wouldnt write only about being pregnant, but theres been developments on the front that require digesting. It seems that the little Blyto has a companion. I wouldnt say friend, but here’s hoping just a room mate. The jist is that I have a twin molar pregnancy. One one side, a perfectly growing 18week old spud, and then a mole. The word is ugly (but it looks worse trust me) but thats medicine for you – the Mole mimics a pregnancy and grows and makes hormones and a bunch of stuff like that. So it causes a bunch of problems which Im aware of but not too aware. My odds of un desirable occurances increase by a fair bit, enough to almost warrant buying a lotto ticket.

Our lotto ticket is just to keep walking ahead, praying (but not in a  religious manner) for good fortune and taking this life as it comes. Yes, it does make me wonder again why overweight, smoking, drinking nut jobs make having a baby seem so easy.

The only question now is… will we qualify for two baby bonus cheques?**

** just kidding

sprung, spring and sprouts

It is the 1st of September, the callendar is bleating the first day of Spring. Somehow from the frost on the ground and the fact I jogged this morning in a beenie I dont quite believe it. Others may disagree, like the blossoms on the side of every road in Canberra and possibly the malls with their new season collections.

As for sprung – that’s the growing lump. This morning my pants were almost too tight. I used the typical female excuse of “theyre freshly washed” which really deep down didnt cut it with the husband (or myself). It just highlighted the ever growing thing which is making my life more breathless. Climbing on the weekend (tr) was more than exercise. On routes I have waltzed up previously, I had to pull harder than ever and dismiss the sound of the steam train coming from my lungs. Fortunately I remember sneaky rests and was able to nap in the sun in between.

The other thing discovered this week was a list of things not to eat. One of the items was sprouts. Im going to miss my sprouts and am investigating this further to see if its American hype or something I should be really worried about.

hail, lemons and bumps

Unpredictable weather is best enjoyed from the safety of ones home. It was enjoyable today to watch the craziness unfold over 4hrs. 2 hail storms, 2 sun showers, blue sky and upside down birds. It must have been the right day to have the flu.

The upsidedown birds did surprise me. They were pink and grey gallahs and as soon as it started hailing they inverted on the power lines and put their wings out as if to shield their heads. They looked liked fruit bats. I thought it would be funny if humans did a similar thing if it rained. Proves the bird has a brain that it wishes to protect.

The second part of the day involved lemons. The grating, squeezing, mixing and drinking to get well. The lemon merangue slice I made is going to get me well, but it is possible that the large amount of sugary goodness in it will cancel out the lemons healing effects. Have to wait and see. It did make me feel like a domestic goddess being able to make something that required triple baking.

And the third – the bump – the ever growing (and groaning) lump in my belly has screeched past the first trimester finish line taking 1st class morning sickness honors and potato cravings. Still, I feel like a bit of a fraud as it isn’t sticking out yet. At least the top bumps are ;) Im sure there will be time for belly gloating, and also wishing it were smaller. Patience!

…kids

is slang for children, and although it means the same thing, it implys two different ages and qualities. Often I use the word children when I want to describe a roudy bunch of punks under the age of 12. I use kids when I think of my friends and time spent adventuring. Both still youthful, one more serious than the other.

This leads me to thinking about other associations with positive and negaitve connotations. Like sex/fuc*ing/making love etc. Its the alliteration of these words that carry with it different meanings, yet all describe the same act. English isnt a particularly tonal language, so instead we use different words to emphasise the concept we are projecting.

But im no writer, and definately find pictures far more interesting.

Difference of ambition

Being ambitious can be seen as competitive, hungry, narrow focused, driven etc. All very positive strong words. Im not one to question people’s drive for sucess, but I do wonder about the definitions we all associate with this word. Further more how do our definitions of these measures effect the way we value ourselves.

where now is

Green feet

Theres been so many occasions Ive thought about writing things, and I find myself wondering why I havent. I rode home last night, there were the blackest clouds – sickly purple who let their fat drops out on me. Why is rain sometimes thin or thick?

The fattest raindrops were recorded over Brazil – 10mm thick. Something to do with them binding onto smoke particles.

Im getting distracted. 2009 has started with a big sigh of relief. In lots of ways, last year was incredibly happy and sad. So now, its like after a massively hot day and subsequent thunderstorm. Wonderful smells and beautiful light and Im all cool and exhausted but know in the morning Ill have the energy back.

Each day has a morning.

This morning im too hungry to say any more but have re-bookmarked this page.

Cliff

I have spent a lot of time on cliffs
When I look out I can see for miles and miles
The skies haze has an invisible weight
Sometimes it turns grey.

To the left from my cliff it slopes downwards,
To the right, a little up but still down
On top it is flat and sunny

Sometimes the wind picks up
and I lie right at the edge
and let the invisible blast me.

It’s pretty simple.
So when things start to get complicated
I try to think of my cliff.

Everything becomes easy to understand in flat shapes.

sort of the same

The sun definately hasn’t changed, but the way I am using punctuation has. 3 months abroad chasing rocks and the summer means that I am at a happy place. The colours seem to be brighter than I remember, and the Australian sky so beautiful. The way it gradates to white at the horizon.

October is Spring, it’s also my birthday and generally the month when I feel anything is achievable. Right now, the most daunting task at hand is sifting through the thousand+ photos without getting blue. The greatest thing is the rhythm I am still carrying from my travels. I realised that it is possible to get a lot of things done without rushing – that way instead of blundering through life and missing people and moments, I can still ‘smell the flowers’ and be productive.

Ones personal pace really rubs off. Positive, energetic, passionate life doesn’t have to be manic.

6.49s

Ive been waking up at the same time, alarm un-assisted. Something exciting is happening. Now that im up off the couch, its really starting to roll. Like anything, if youve had time off for a while, the first few sessions are the hardest. And its been 5 years since Europe. Time is fast, but so much has also happened in there.

I was reminded of things ide forgotton – like cycling around NZ the other year. Getting really sick on roast vegetables and ending curled up in a room like an old mans armpit. Memories and adventures are so so good. Its what gives everyday some kinda peace. The only thing im bummed about is actually leaving. Once on the road it will be fine, but a heavy heart to start. Hopefully my luggage will not be so.

backyard noise

Hanging out in the big smoke seems ok at first. Pretty lights, and just more stuff to see. But the trucks and the constant hum really infect the brain and the peace i find so easily at home just doesnt seem to come easily here.

So im wondering, why am I heading to San Francisco.?. Basically im thinking its a challenge, a shake up, out of the comfy armchair and time to be unstable for a while. Im excited to enter the next few months of chaos, only because im so concrete on the inside. Its a really nice feeling.

But the speed of the city. Its something else. People seem so intent on getting places faster that they miss out on the stuff to see and feel along the way. Its not hard to get grumpy in traffic if you are late, but when you own your clock, its lovely to stare from the bus window and notice things. Notice the weird tiles on the top of suburban homes, the super blueyness of reflected skies, and puddles that just seem to stay forever (well 2 days)

So im going to go slow, but effective slow, productive slow through the noise.

another first

Unemployment. Excitingly odd, but really not frightening because I have a million plans and now a million minutes in which to action them. Its day one again, but being liberated from the screen just makes me bust. Even though im sitting here writing now, its not in the same place i was before, and a little bit of digital every now and then is ok.

Its like if i smoked, quitting. You know you want to get healthier, but you do need to ween, or else its too much of a shock. The upcoming trip, and the lack of any personal computer is going to make my eyesight a lot better and my mind a lot quieter.

Considering ive broken up with my work-boyfriend of 5 years, i didnt do too bad and only consumed a large amount of icecream last night. I already miss the sounds, but getting uncomfortable and out of the cozy chair is good – especially seeing canberra winter is coming on thick

day one

Only my right hand feels cold. But winter is definately lurking. Perhaps its accounting for the black wave.
If there werent black waves ide stay in the grey rut quite comfortably, but then ide never get to light. all a bit introverted really.
Theres something soothing about blankets with ribbon edges, mothballs and pastle checks. The leaves are still holding on by there teeth to the branches outside. Thats about all the observations i feel like making.